Christmas Irritants 2021

 

Perhaps it's me and some “unconscious bias” but I find that my list of candidates for irritant of the year for 2020 have failed to mend their ways.  Theresa May continued her selective recollections but just does not get it that nobody cares. Gary Linekar whined on whilst challenging Tittymarsh for ubiquity and poor Sam Coates had difficulty keeping his halo in place as he inclined his head in conspiratorial inquiry with each broadcasting scoop. Jeremy Hunt’s brass neck extended to improve his view in hindsight whilst wee Nicola continued to be her ghastly self.  Winkleperson, resplendent in the King’s new suit of clothes just doesn’t get it either – she is neither funny nor interesting.  Mushroom still hasn’t worked out what Motsi Mabuse is for but she remains uneasy on the eye. I’m almost ready to rehabilitate Jurgen Klopp, whose tooth whitening job looks like it needs a touch up but I will reserve my judgment on the sour kraut until Liverpool start losing a few. Meantime the bling-laden Lewis Hamilton continues to opine on everything that shouldn’t be bothering a millionaire, let alone one dubbed a knight of the realm for services to arcade games.  And what can be said of the Sussexes without one’s stomach churning?

But 2021 has still thrown up a few new irritants.  The forced confection of jollity from Alexander Armstrong, who gets everywhere these days, should make Classic FM a no-go area, at least until the ding dong merrily season is over for another year.  And what an entrance from Julian Knight, Chairman of the Digital Culture Media and Sports Parliamentary Committee, even though your no-nonsense star chamber waistcoat didn’t fit.  No doubting where you stand on Yorkshire County Cricket Club but just a shame you didn’t take account of all the evidence before pronouncing sentence. Alexander  and Julian join of last years worthy mentions who continued to plough on regardless.  Their Royal High-horses, the brand now firmly gripped by Meghan Duchess of Sussex, continued to astonish and dismay as it seemed not to occur to either them that the rest of humanity had rather more to concern them their soppy, cringeworthy and excrescent manifesto. Nevertheless, the crown this year goes to anyone who proclaims “our” NHS, George Cross, as “world class.”   Just try proclaiming that that to the soldiers, sailors and airmen (sorry, now “aviators”) who will spend yet another Christmas season helping out!