Green Killing

A very senior ex RAF friend drew my attention to a news item headlined that our army was to phase out fossil fuels. In a recent address, General Carleton-Smith said that a move to clean energy would put the military, “on the right side of the environmental argument.” My friend described the policy as, “stark, staring bonkers.” As a relatively junior Officer, it is not Mushroom's place to question the Air Marshal's concise and measured military judgement nor stir up any inter-service disagreement. However, I do sense a woke opportunity to emphasise the value “our people,” a monotonously repeated cliché which helps conceal the lack of investment in fighting kit. With one eye firmly on future recruits who, apparently, will base their decision to take the Queen’s Shilling upon the environmental credentials of the MOD, there is an opportunity to reinforce the green message in the biodegradable packaging of field ration packs. In a move that could have been inspired by Milo Minderbinder, battlefield recycling instructions could include the morale boosting message: “Her Majesty thanks you, in advance, for your forthcoming supreme sacrifice, and expresses the wish that you will be proud to know that your death was entirely carbon-neutral.”