Media Outraged by Boris' Vow to Deliver Promises

Is anyone else fed up with the media complaining that the reshuffle strengthens Boris's hand as if that were something sinister and that “diversity has gone backwards?” In my, old fashioned, military biased view of leadership, we elect a leader first and foremost to get things done.  Consider a sea-survival situation to illustrate my point.  Having survived the aircraft ditching in the middle of the Atlantic, the sodden and downhearted crew is in desperate need of a plan for salvation.  Although there are plenty of ideas none, particularly, hold sway.  The Navigator was all for using clothing as a makeshift sail and drifting with the wind towards Ireland, maybe 900 miles away to the East.  The wireless operator was firmly against this mad idea declaring that having made an SOS call and given a last known position, they should stay in the same location to make it easier for the rescuers to find them.  The Air Loadmaster made the very reasonable point that they only had 3 gallons of fresh water on board the raft and no food so they ought to start fishing immediately and work out how to make sea water portable.  A couple of the passengers complained of the cold and demanded a change of clothes.  The Flight Engineer pointed out, ominously, that the raft was somewhat overloaded and taking in water and that it would be liable to capsize if the weather worsened.  Everyone started talking at once with each of the survivors attempting make his point with more and more vehemence.  The Pilot was just about to grab the Navigator by the throat when one of the passengers boomed out, “we need a leader to decide our plan.”  As the rabble paused for breath and the pilot resisted the urge to strangle the navigator, one of the passengers stood forth.  “As it happens,” he said, “I’ve been in a similar situation before.  It was very tough but we pulled together and we all survived.  I have a plan that will work but it will require sacrifices from all of you.  If we carry on like this we shall just drift to disaster but if you follow my direction I will get you all out of this mess alive – so what’s it to be?”  One by one, the survivors raised their hands in agreement.  The new leader confessed that he was not a technical details person and he would rely on the expertise in the raft to get things done.  “Engineer, fix the radio, Navigator keep track of our position ready to give to the wireless operator when the radio is working.  Loadmaster, ration the fresh water and make a survival plan for, say, five days at sea.  Navigator, check on the location aids – make sure all the flares are handy and the sea marker dye is ready for deployment. Pilot, organise the passengers to bale water and make repairs to the raft.  Passengers, does anyone know how to make and operate a solar still to generate fresh water?  That’ll do for now but I want all the team leaders to report to me in 6 hours with details of their progress.  Don’t bother me meantime unless it is with a problem you cannot solve yourself. Any questions,” snarled the new Captain?

The survivors set about their allotted tasks. Oddly, no-one complained that both the pilots and the navigator, despite their historic hostility, had enjoyed the privilege of a private education. The gender imbalance - only the Air Loadmaster lacked a penis - went uncontested. Even the BBC man, who had been amongst the passengers, suppressed his instinctive objection to the ethnic and disability balance amongst the key post holders and began to bale – interestingly, he baled water as though his entire future depended upon it.