But This Is Newcastle United We Are Talking About

A new football season began for Newcastle United yesterday.  Meeting my friends beforehand – we are all “somewhere” supporters to use Rod Liddle’s helpful distinction from the “anywheres” or those that follow the likes of Manchester United – there was a sense of guarded optimism.  After all, we have an excellent manager and some pretty good players.  OK, we have not added to the squad in the quantity that many would have wished but those that have been brought in have appeared to be shrewd acquisitions.  The owner, Mike Ashley, is not everyone’s cup of tea but he is neither a foreign crook nor money launderer and we should show some gratitude that he has underwritten the Club debt for the last few years.  Many criticise him because he admits to being unable to “write a cheque for £200 million” - the sort of expenditure that is needed to guarantee elevation to the world elite – but that may be unfair.  Nevertheless, there was definitely something to look forward to in the season ahead.  Except, that is, this is Newcastle United we are talking about

Opponents for the day were Tottenham Hotspur, thrashed on their last visit to St James’ Park 2 years ago, but unlikely to be so compliant this time around.  But things started so well, for nearly an hour, Newcastle played with organised composure, limiting their opponents to only a couple of long range efforts on goal.  Two replacements because of early injuries in defence had slotted in well.  On form, we expected no favours from the referee and were not disappointed.  The game had been reasonably even-tempered.  Harry Kane had lunged dangerously and spitefully at Lejeune sending the latter hobbling to the dressing room whilst the golden Deli Alli and Jamaal Lascelles has squared up with handbags drawn.  Alli clearly resented having been dispossessed by an upstart and had been wound up nicely.  (Note to Jamaal, to finish the job you really need to study the Alan Shearer Bumper Book of Baiting and in particular how to goad Roy Keane into getting himself sent off).  But back to the present, so far so good.

But this is Newcastle United so the moment of shocking petulant indiscipline from Jonjo Shelvey was hardly unexpected.  It defies belief that if you decide to stamp on an opponent in full view of the referee you should then refrain from doing any serious damage on the victim – a red card is a red card, after all. Thus, a position from which at least a draw seemed feasible was transformed, in a selfish instant, into one with only 10 men and from which defeat seemed inescapable.  And so it was.

Reading the sports section during the season is seldom a pleasurable experience for us die hards and so it proved today.  What infuriated me, however, was the bland spate of apologies that followed.  “Poor old Jonjo, he knows he has done wrong so we must all get behind him.” “Shelvey to seek psychological help for anger management.” Fair enough in these socially indulgent days except that on this issue, Shelvey has form.  How many more result-critical transgressions will the Club allow him? I do not question Shelvey’s commitment and I even believe him when he says he will seek help.  However, this season every point will be critical to Newcastle United and they cannot afford to risk points by indulging the unreliable Shelvey – they need the full team on the pitch for the whole game and a league of this intensity is no place for such a fragile temperament.  The other players should indeed “get behind him” but only as far as the nearest exit.

Of course, I know nothing about football.  However, in my RAF career I did encounter quite a lot of training and picked up lots of relevant practical tips on how to get the best out of individuals and teams of people.  Putting it kindly, if Shelvey were a pilot, I would not have him on my Squadron any more!