Antisocial Distancing

 

Despite the Covid rules for keeping one’s distance I expect life in the average Royal Air Force Officers’ Mess has continued as usual.  In my sheltered time as a bachelor inmate, one found that the Dining Room was fully furnished with large rectangular oak tables set for breakfast – perhaps 6 or 8 place settings at each.  Whilst the staff would have preferred to serve and clear one table at a time, the usual preference of the Officers on entering the room at the start of the day was to choose an unoccupied table.  Here, in silent isolation, there would be room to spread the morning newspaper and tiresome early-morning conversation could be avoided.  I understand that in some Army Regiments, diners at breakfast might wear their hat to indicate to brother Officers that they did not wish to be disturbed.  And who could imagine a gentleman inconveniencing another Officer in the Ante Room by deliberately taking an adjacent armchair?

Rejoice!

 

The curse of Mushroom appears to have struck my old adversary, the news manipulator Kamal Ahmed.  Ahmed is a BAME news executive which, Mushroom has heard, is fashionably treated as if it were a wildlife protected species.  Astonishing, then, that the BBC, of all organisations, has dispensed with his professional services.  The BBC, shock and outrage, has contravened its own diversity rules.  Several BBC news presenters, we are told, have “raised concerns” - but not about the woke sausage machine of BBC "stories" Ahmed leaves behind, we may be sure.

Help from Our Friends

The day after I posted my previous piece about the importance of defending ourselves and not relying on "our friends in the EU," as the Prime Minister calls them, Allister Heath wrote:

"At a time when Britain is taking moral stances on Hong Kong and Alexei Navalny, the EU continues to suck up to the Russians via Merkel’s beloved Nord Stream 2. At best, the supposed European superpower intends to act as some sort of amoral non-aligned player, friendly to China and happy to take NATO handouts in return for nothing."

The delusion that the EU is responsible for peace and harmony in Europe is a matter of faith, not historical analysis, says Robert Tombs.  Tombs cites evidence from Sir Ian Kershaw, "who ascribes post-war peace to the defeat of Germany ‘once and for all’, to the Cold War and superpower hegemony, to new prosperity, and to nuclear weapons – not, in short, to European integration."

Hopefully, in the wake of the spiteful Article 16 debacle, more Rejoiners will begin to see the EU as unreliable and, as John Gray puts it, "the dangerous myth of some semi-sacred institution."

UK Must Defend UK

 

With the performance of the EU over their Covid vaccine strategy even attracting criticism from some of the most ardent “Rejoiners,” it could be helpful to remind everyone about defence.  Although Covid dominates our attention, a determined enemy would relish the opportunity to gain an advantage whilst our attention was focussed elsewhere.  To remind, Article 5 of the NATO Treaty requires all the signatories to come to each other’s aid in the event one of them is attacked – the principle of collective defence.  Could that be relied upon? Following the Russian annexation of Crimea in 2014 , Julian Roepcke, writing in Standpoint, reports a black joke in the German security community:  “if Russia invades the Baltic states, Germany will of course honour its NATO commitment and defend them – once the German public approves this in a binding referendum.”  As for EU defence initiatives, they offer a full spectrum of military assistance short of actual fighting capability and could be safely ignored.  As Richard Barrons put it, their several Headquarters "provide day care for middle-aged officers" and are "unable to deploy anywhere robustly and quickly."

The astonishing behaviour of the EU over so-called, “vaccine wars,” should remind those in charge of UK defence that we should ensure we are able to look after ourselves.  Recent events give no cause for optimism that the EU could unite on anything (except hatred of Brexit), let alone collective defence.  All of which bodes ill for the future of the new Queen Elizabeth carriers which, with only 48 F35B aircraft, pack only a modest punch and will require the support of allies to maintain even that capability.

The Media Diet of Gloom

 

A week ago I received my first shot of the Pfizer vaccine at a nearby surgery.  I had been notified by text by my GP a few days earlier and, having followed the link provided, booked myself an appointment 3 days hence.  Old habits die hard and I arrived 10 minutes early, intending to conduct a timing holding pattern for a precise arrival.  “I’m early,” I informed a door monitor.  “Not to worry Sir,” she replied, “please stand in this space and await instructions.”  I did exactly as I was told and less than 5 minutes later, suitably perforated, I was given an information leaflet with the time I was permitted to leave the building written boldly on the front.  I felt elated as, from the evidence of excited conversation, were others.  In my RAF career I quite often encountered people doing difficult jobs under pressure, so I know what good morale looks like and the evidence of a sense of pride and achievement was all around the Tadcaster clinic.  Thank you everyone concerned!

But to listen to the news or press briefings it would seem that Covid matters are not going well.  Actions, like Goldilocks porridge, have been taken far too early or far too late.  The vaccination schedule is a shambles with London and Scotland missing out because of vindictive incompetence by this wretched Government.  Schoolchildren are being deliberately starved to death and single mothers driven to desperation to provide.  NHS beds are full and staff overwhelmed with the system in crisis.  Brexit warnings are coming home to roost with food shortages in Northern Ireland and fishermen in Scotland screaming we told you so.  Lorry drivers who failed to fill in customs declarations are being turned away from border controls.  Even the England Cricket Team, losing the toss to Ceylon but still managing to bowl the hosts out for under 150 and be within sight of overhauling the first innings total for the loss of only 2 wickets on the first day, found their efforts merely described as a ”decent start” on Classic FM.  All told, any elation at receiving my vaccination has quickly evaporated and I am back in my normal lockdown depression mode.

How much better things must be on the Continent, the European Union which we have just, stupidly, abandoned?  An old colleague now living in Southern Germany tells me that they are maybe hoping for the vaccine to reach them in, “a couple of weeks or so.” Bild, a German newspaper, is rather more impatient using side headings such as, “pitiful,” “stumbled,” and “mocked,” when discussing the roll out of a vaccination programme in the EU.  Bild concludes, “the most bitter irony for Europe is that the one foreign politician our liberal commentariat have most mocked for years - Boris Johnson - is also the only one who acted swiftly and decisively when it came to securing the vaccines. The number of doses the UK has available speaks for itself. And it was the sensible federalist Europeans who have failed so miserably.”

If even the German version of the Sun red top has it in for the EU Covid response, surely it is time for the media to acknowledge that the UK, excluding the rebel Nicola’s SNP enclave of course, is doing something right?  Time for us all to wake up to the possibilities of leading the world Covid recovery – my glass is half full and the sommelier is hovering.

Happy Morning

 Savouring my cup of tea on the morning of 1 January 2021

Christmas Irritants 2020

I’d like to start by thanking all those whose Christmas greetings, from their villas in Monnetnirvana, wished me everything I deserved from Brexit.  They, apparently, remained proudly and steadfastly “European” so thank you all for reminding me of my petty small mindedness.  Which leads nicely to number nine, the bitter and malevolent Theresa May for whom, as we all know, Brexit means Brexit.  Mushroom suggests a few more long walks but, this time, pausing for breath occasionally to take a good look in the mirror of your hiking compass.  Gary Lineker, at number eight could do with some damping of his moral compass.  Mushroom is sick to death of the saintly Lineker’s 360-degree views on everything delivered with all the smug assurance that working for the BBC, amongst others, at £1.75m a year allows. Sam Coates, Sky’s Deputy Political Editor is enjoying particular prominence due to the enforced absence of his boss, the ghastly Beth Rigby, who has been rightly yellow-carded for a breath-taking display of Covid hypocrisy.  The sea green incorruptible Coates has a substantial arsenal of hindsight with which to berate the Government in general and the Prime Minister in particular (who he regularly invites to take personal responsibility for every outcome of policy).  Now revelling in his promotion he tantalises his viewers with enigmatic innuendo and contrived metaphors which make Mushroom squirm.  Mushroom hopes you too are caught out and follow your boss to the naughty step.  Jeremy Hunt, the longest serving Health Secretary in parliamentary history, oversaw a catalogue of disasters including the junior doctor’s strike and publicly backed Theresa May’s Brexit sell-out.  He now, petulantly, delivers his pearls of hindsight on health matters from the cosy sinecure as Chairman of the Health and Social Care Select Committee (vice Sarah Wollaston who got what she deserved in the 2019 General Election).  At number five, the teflon President Nicola Krankie blames everything that goes wrong on Westminster and claims personal credit for the little that goes right.  This is all very tiresome but Mushroom takes comfort from the storm clouds of revelation on the horizon and looks forward to bitter and spiteful allegations and counter allegations to come as she and her sociable old boss, Alex Salmond, square up in their fight for political survival. Wee Nicola only just pips the strabismic Claudia Winkleman, reportedly the highest earning woman in the BBC with a salary well over three times that lavished on Dominic Cummings.  As the chorus line Gilbert & Sullivan’s Trial by Jury observes: “she has often been taken for forty three/In the dusk, with a light behind her.”  Mushroom repeats his advice to get a haircut. And while on the subject of rotten tomatoes, mention at number 3 goes to the pneumatic Motsi Mabuse – Mushroom wonders who she is and what is she for.  For Number 3 this year goes to Jurgen Klopp whose success as a football manager could not be questioned were he not a Kraut.  His shaggy chic appearance, teeth flashing like an aircraft anti-collision beacon and meticulous attention to English grammar, as only Germans can, simply gets up my nose.  I hesitated in nominating Lewis Hamilton again, what with current sensitivities and the danger of being cancelled for not showing solidarity to his causes.  But during the year this over-paid kart racer has excelled in promoting Marxist political policies which only serve to divide society and isolate whole of it chunks in hand-wringing victimhood.  We shall hear more of this as Hamilton “guest edits” Today on BBC Radio Four on Boxing Day, presumably by audio link from his yacht in sunnier climes.  Excruciating as Hamilton’s posturing has been, unlike in previous years where it has been difficult to separate the top three, in 2020, the clear irritants of the year are Their Royal High Horses, Megananharry.  Like the protected species they have become, the super-woke Sussexes have reluctantly accepted great wealth and riches to highlight and elevate diverse perspectives and voices.  They have even taken the moral high ground by endorsing an “amazing” coffee brand, the world’s first instant oat milk latte.  For Meghan, just like Claudia, a personal grooming tip for 2021 - wear longer dresses. Where Mushroom comes from, Bonnie Lass, the sight of those lower limbs bearing your Californian pile of piffle would attract an endearing rejoinder – “hadaway sparras’ ankles.”